“If you could do anything, knowing you would not fail, what would you do?”
That question breaks my heart.
It’s daring me to dream BIG.
And what would you let yourself dream about, if you had no restrictions?
So if I could do anything in the whole world, knowing I wouldn’t fail, this is what I would do:
Live in a tiny house on the beach somewhere, during the months that I write.
The months that I don’t write will be spent wandering.
The places I dream of least.
The places that need help, or the places that are haunted and empty, the places that are unruly and drunk on nature’s rage,
The places God forgot about.
If I could do anything, knowing I would not fail,
I would walk straight into a jungle
On some hidden continent.
I would breathe deep, smelling the earth and the musk
I would take step after step
Into the muddy, sticky ground
I would push back the flora
I would grab the trunks of trees, desperately
Clinging like I would to a lover’s body
Aching to be held
I would sink further and further into the mud
I would gasp for air
I would look into the sky
My face covered in bugs
I would beg the Earth for grace and mercy
And I would be lost
So utterly lost
In the desperateness of solitude and submersion
In the fragility of mortality
In the beauty of the desolate mind
I would drown myself in this Earth
And peek back up through the dirt
See just the smallest sliver of sky
And watch that sky melt away
As the rain drips and molds the mud
To my lonely face.
And at that moment
I would know that I was complete
Dead and alone and musky.
People: Why do I yearn for you?
If I could do anything, knowing I would not fail:
I would be alone on this Earth, and covered in it
And for the benefit of my spirit.
Because within myself
And within this Earth
I will find freedom from my addiction
To the mob stampede of humanity.